What I Learned From My Failed Marriage…

In 2012, throughout my marriage that
lasted no more than 4 months…

I found out some very sad, and dark
things about myself.

Relationships, and the people we go the
deepest with, are the ones who bring
out the deepest shadows within us.

And at the time, I wasn’t ready to look
at them.

Like many people do, I blamed…

Instead of being able to look at myself,
and ask, “What is it within me that is
making me feel this way?”

I blamed everything around me.

I blamed her, my wife at the time,

I didn’t do this consciously though,
or even outwardly.

But deep inside, if I was unhappy or
upset, automatically, I thought it was
her fault.

I looked at the external circumstances,
and said it’s because of ____ or ____
that I feel this way.

I wasn’t able to look at myself.

I wasn’t able to see… that it was really
something inside of me, that made
me not feel good…

And I wasn’t able to own my emotions.

I didn’t take responsibility for how I felt.

It’s unfortunate that this is such a
common experience for us as humans.

But before we wake up…

This is a necessary part of our process
of liberation.

Unfortunately, some people, never stop
doing this.

They continue to blame, and point the
finger at everybody around them.

Do you do this?

An easy way to find out, is ask yourself:

“Who am I when I don’t get what I want?”

Really sit with this question.

And see, what patterns come out of you,
when you don’t get what you want.

Do you believe it is life, or the people
around you that make you feel the
way you do?

Do you argue with reality?

Or point the finger at anything around
you, like people or circumstances, for
making you feel the way you do?

I did…

And it’s what caused so much pain
and suffering, and eventually led my
marriage to fall apart.


Is my greatest lesson, from that
failed marriage.

I have to be willing to look at myself
and take RESPONSIBILITY for how
I feel.

And I learned, that absolutely every
emotion I feel… good and bad… is
up to me.

And once I understood that I am the
only one
in charge of how I feel…

Then when I would be unhappy, or
not feel good… I actually looked inside.

And I would ask, “what is it within me
that is making me feel this way?”

Because if you don’t feel good…

It is because there is an illusion that
you believe to be true.

Read that again.

It is so true, yet so simple…

And Mother Ayahuasca, revealed this
Truth to me.

More importantly, she showed me, not
only am I the one responsible for how
I feel in every moment…

But She taught me, and gave me the tools
to know how I can CHOOSE to be happy.

How, in any moment, especially if I
get triggered or upset…

How I can so quickly come back to a
state of peace and love.

This is something that is so hard to
teach, but I’m doing my best through
these emails…

But above all, this depth of understanding
is only possible once you have a direct
experience with the visions and teachings
from Mother Ayahuasca.

So I pray, if you are willing to look
at yourself…

If you are willing to take responsibility
for how you feel…

Then, come join us in Peru.

And let this life-changing sacrament show
you how you can CHOOSE to be happy,
in any moment.

Let her show you, so that you don’t just
get it from the mind…

But you get it, in every cell of your Being.

That you really can be happy, no matter
what is going on around you.

That’s all for today!

We’ll talk again soon!

[To be continued..]

With SO much love, empowering us to choose LOVE above all,
Trinity de Guzman & The Ayahuasca Healings Family

PS –

After this terrible breakup, and seeing
these parts of myself…

I knew I needed healing.

I was able to see my pain, my shadows,
my darkness.

And I knew, I needed a big shift in my life.

So, I started to prepare…

For living in the woods by myself.

Which I knew, I had to do.

What happened next…

I’ll share with you soon!


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