Why I quit smoking weed…
I’m writing this for anybody who wants to quit smoking cannabis, as I’m sure by sharing my journey letting go of this plant, that it will help many of you who are also struggling with letting go…
First, let’s give some background story:
My Personal Journey
I started smoking when I was 15, and from the age of 16 – 19, I was smoking a LOT.
I used weed to help me with bodybuilding (gaining weight), and learning online marketing, which is what these years of my life were dedicated to.
Since that period, I have had a relationship with it, on and off, where I would smoke every day for periods of time (weeks to months) and then take a break…
But the cycle would continue, and I would find myself smoking weed unconsciously and excessively (in my opinion), and ultimately seeing that it was taking away from my life…
It’s Not About weed
Before we dive deeper, let’s clarify one thing:
“It’s not about the plant, it’s about the relationship we have with it”
As with anything, it’s not the plant/medicine/substance that is the issue… it is the RELATIONSHIP with it that matters.
So we need to see that weed isn’t the enemy, but it’s our RELATIONSHIP with it, that any conflict or difficulty comes from…
I Need To Take An Honest Look At Myself…
Before I decided that this is why I quit smoking weed, I realized something first…
There was this recurring pattern in my life:
No matter how long of a “break” I took from weed, something would trigger me, and I would start smoking again. Then I would smoke more… until it was daily. Often smoking from the morning until night.
I would find myself with lower energy, and a lower desire to do the things that were important to me. Like working out or meditating for example.
“But It Improved My Life!”
I had this ongoing theme with weed, thinking that it would improve my life, or make me more creative or focused, which is why I would come back to it whenever I did…
But when I really look at myself…
I would see that the overall net effect on my life was more negative or detrimental, than it would be positive.
Weed and Co-Dependency
One of the things that I realized the most, that really made me look at my relationship with weed…
Was seeing how whenever I would smoke, I would always want to smoke more.
There was never a middle-ground for me.
It’s like with weed, I had absolutely zero capacity for moderation.
So, whenever I would smoke, even if it was just once, it was like clockwork:
The next day, I would have cravings, and want to smoke again.
Until I did, and the cycle repeated itself.
Now, I had to know more…
My Personal Experiment
In seeing this pattern, I then asked myself:
“I wonder if I could have a healthy relationship with weed?”
So I played around with testing different “rules” I would make for myself, to help me have a better relationship with weed.
I found it hard to completely stop smoking weed, especially when it is was such a big part of our culture…
And honestly, I didn’t want to give it up.
So I played around with seeing what would work for me…
“The 4:20 Rule”
Which is simple. I wouldn’t smoke until past 4:20pm.
Because if I smoke too early, I smoke throughout the day… and end up feeling really lethargic and tired by the end of the night.
And I find the contrast of time when I’m smoking and not-smoking makes my experience with the medicine always so much more insightful and opening for me.
Otherwise, if I’m constantly smoking, the deep expansion of awareness just diminishes… until all that’s left is a feeling of heaviness. Do you know what I mean?
“The 3 Day Rule”
Which would mean I would smoke only once every 3 days…
That would mean two full days before smoking. (3 sleeps)
In order to really emphasize the contrast of perspective that I just spoke about.
“The Once-a-Day Rule”
This one was honestly one of my favorites.
I would take time in the morning to set my intentions for smoking, honor it and meditate with it, and then only smoke once that day…
But To No Avail…
After years of testing out if I can have a “healthy” relationship with weed…
I have come to the conclusion:
I honestly don’t know what it is.
Whatever it is, there is this deep energetic tie that I have with this plant…
And whenever I smoke, I can’t help but want to smoke more.
This is one of the most powerful, rare, and LIMITED energies we have.
Imagine it this way –
You only get 10 points of “Will Power” every day.
How will you spend those points?
Once they’re spent, they’re spent.
Will you use it to create something valuable or meaningful in your life?
To me, no matter what rules I set out for myself for smoking weed, I COULD follow them…
But it would take a lot of my will power.
And I realized, I would MUCH rather use my will power to CREATE amazing new habits, or powerful things in the world, rather than pushing away a desire to smoke weed…
Agitation and Irritability
Another huge factor for me, and why I quit smoking weed…
Was because I noticed something else about myself…
Whenever I would smoke every day, for whatever length of time…
When I would “come off” of smoking weed, I would be incredibly irritable and agitable.
I would be very easily triggered.
Things would bother me way more than they normally would.
I would find it really hard to let go of being upset.
And I would find that I wouldn’t treat everybody with love and kindness in all moments…
Yeah, it’s hard to say and admit, but this is what taking an honest look at myself has truly shown me…
From lowered concentration, to cravings, to agitation, and even needing more sleep…
I found another big reason that made me want to stop smoking weed:
I call it “Instant Gratification Mode”.
When I smoke weed, I’ve found that all I really care about is what I want in that moment.
Rather than thinking long term, or what really supports me in the big picture, I just care about what I want in that instant.
That’s led me to spend more money, eat unhealthy, and just “consume”…
“All We Are Is a Compilation of Our Addictions”
One of my mentors shared this with me, many years ago…
And it’s so true.
We are addicted to so many things…
Not that it’s a bad thing, because it’s true.
But let’s create HEALTHY addictions.
Like addictions to working out, eating healthy, uplifting others, or spreading joy…
What are YOU addicted to?
It’s Your Turn – Here’s Your CHALLENGE
After reading this story of why I quit smoking weed, I want to leave you with this:
Are you happy with your relationship with weed?
Do you believe you can have a healthy relationship with it?
If so, what would that look like?
Really look at yourself.
THIS is your challenge.
How HONEST can you be with yourself?
How does this plant effect you?
What are the positives? And most importantly, what are the negatives?
Do the positives really outweigh the negatives…?
Really see… if this plant is making your life better, or not.
You know, deep down inside, what is best for you.
I pray that these words support you in your journey, to live Your Highest Truth!
We’ll speak again soon!
[To be continued..]
With SO much love, from my heart to yours,
Trinity de Guzman & The Ayahuasca Healings Family
PS – My Conclusion
Personally, I believe the Spirit of weed, and the root energy of this plant is extremely powerful, and can teach us so much…
This is why we are drawn to it in the first place…
But I believe that Man has tainted the pure essence of weed.
As it has been used hugely to generate money, profits, and to feed the deep-seeded greed of man.
Personally, if I am to come back to weed, I want to plant my own seeds (which I would germinate with my own saliva) and grow my own plant with love, care and attention… asking for it to heal me, and give me what will serve me in my highest, for the greatest good of all…
This I feel is an important step for me in my journey with this plant, and what I feel could really be a huge turning point for helping me have a healthy relationship with weed…
That’s all for now!
Praying this supports you in your journey of continued self-awareness!
Whenever you’re ready to make massive leaps and bounds in your inner evolution, come to Peru! And watch… how Mother Ayahuasca can help change your life in ways that you could probably only begin to imagine right now…
Especially when it comes to letting go of the addictions that no longer serve us.
Please share and comment! Would love to hear about your journey, and if this has supported you in any way!