My Humble Confession – By Trinity de Guzman
Re: Ayahuasca Church in America

Written by Trinity de Guzman
June 28, 2018:

Right now, I am going through my “Saturn Return”…

This happens to all of us when we turn 28 to 29…

And what happens exactly, is Saturn “returns” to the same point in the sky, as when we were born.

This brings HUGE shifts in our lives. As this time becomes all about asking DEEPER questions about life.

And really getting clarity on who we are here to BE in the world.

As Saturn returns, all that it represents energetically, are amplified in our lives…

Saturn represents:
– Time
– Limits
– SLOWING DOWN
– Structure
– Integrity
– Rules…

All of the things that made me cringe in the past…

Are now my greatest teachers, as I start to understand what my Saturn Return is really about…


Why Does This Even Matter?

Well, in today’s blog, I want to share with you a very vulnerable, and open, honest look at myself…

With my highest intention to share anything that can give you a deeper sense of Self-awareness

In the past…

I used to have this trait of:

“Ready, FIRE… Aim”

Meaning, I would take ACTION first, THEN figure it out.

Honestly, this was a very valuable trait, that showed me the importance of taking ACTION, without getting stuck in thinking, doubt, or “analysis paralysis”…

(Which is one of the biggest inner obstacles that we face on the path of creating our ideal life reality)


The Rise & Fall of
The Ayahuasca Church in America…

Now, in all honesty, I have to admit…

When I started the Ayahuasca Healings Church in America, back in late 2015…

I now recognize how I rushed into it…

I saw that the UDV and the Santo Daime Ayahuasca Churches in the United States had set a precedent… to use Ayahuasca in a religious context. And how it was legally being done.

Now, with this in mind –

I figured, if they are doing it, so can I!

So I sought out advisors, and I found somebody who appeared to have the authority and legal understanding, to guide me in my quest…

We had setup an Ayahuasca Healings Church under the guidance of our “Mother Church” ONAC, and started sharing our healing ministries with Ayahuasca, at our land in Elbe, Washington, in January 2016.


Fast Forward a Few Months…

In March 2016, we got a letter from the DEA, who asked our Church to file a petition; in order to be fully exempt from the CSA (Controlled Substance Act), and share Ayahuasca as part of our church ministries, we needed to file for an exemption under the RFRA (Religious Freedom Restoration Act).

So, we made a hard decision, and decided to pause our Church services, while we file for the petition, and until we receive approval from the DEA.


What Really Happened…

Here is an important detail that needs to be addressed:

During this time, people donated to our church, in expectation to visit our land and experience Ayahuasca.

Even though it was all legitimately a donation on paper, the fact is, people EXPECTED to experience Ayahuasca at our Church.

So when we suddenly paused the sharing of our church ministries in Elbe, Washington, as requested by the DEA, there was an onslaught of angry, disappointed people, who felt “ripped off”.

All of the money we received, was invested into setting up our Church.

And we received very specific instructions from our lawyer to NOT issue any “refunds”. Or else it jeopardizes the entire petition we were submitting to the DEA.

What Matters MOST

I now recognize and see so clearly…

It doesn’t matter what happens with the DEA anymore.

What matters most to me is INTEGRITY.

And it doesn’t feel right to me, to WAIT around for the DEA before doing anything…

I see…


TRUST Was Broken

As I go through my Saturn Return, I am learning what it means to really have INTEGRITY. In every way.

The true power of my WORD…

And how my WORD… is all I really have. It’s all any of us really have.

In 2015, when people donated, they TRUSTED me.

And I now see…

How that TRUST was broken.

Now, ABOVE ALL, I need to HONOR that trust…

Meaning, I deeply acknowledge all the people that trusted me during that time, and donated to our Church… but were left disappointed.


The Bottom Line Is –

I humbly admit…

I now see how IMPORTANT it is that anybody who donated, either receives money back, or a retreat with us in Peru.

Not as a “refund”, for this was never about the sales…

But as ENERGY.

As a “Gift of Good Faith”.

Whatever you want to call it, the end result is the same.

I WILL give money to anybody who has donated to our Church in the past, and has not ever received an Ayahuasca Healing experience with us…


Whatever You Call It…

I give my word.

This is my humble confession…

I went too fast when it came to setting up the Ayahusaca Healings Church in America, back in 2015.

I learned a lot of valuable lessons, which are important, for the vision of Community only GROWS within me so deeply…

My intention was ONLY ever in the highest, for bringing the deepest healing and love to our people and our planet.

Regardless of what happened…

I will even the scales energetically…

For everything is energy…

And now, my NUMBER ONE focus is to be generating the funds to give these Gifts of Good Faith, to the people who donated and deserve it.


When Will This Happen?

As tempted as I am to give a timeline and dates…

I will not saying anything right now, unless I KNOW I can follow through.

I AM saying that I will do this. The time frame, I surrender to, and at the same time, I am very actively ensuring that I put energy to this daily, to make sure this happens as promptly as possible.


The Big Shift

I’m no longer waiting around for the DEA to respond, before I take action.

Honestly, they havn’t wrote to us since November, 2016.

At this point, I am done waiting for a response before moving forward.

And a huge shift has happened within me…

How IMPORTANT it is, that this is cleaned up, before proceeding with anything else…


What About Our Video Project?

This even means that the big video project that Gabriel Ng and I have worked so hard on this year… will be put on the back burner.

Until I give these Gifts of Good Faith back to the people who deserve them…

(ie. Those who donated and havn’t received a physical experience with Ayahuasca from us)

There is NOTHING more important to me, in a work context, to do everything I can to generate this money.

Fortunately, I have an incredible investing teacher, who has been showing me very calculated, mathematical ways to turn money into even more money…

Meaning, it’s just a matter of time before this intention I have, to give these gifts back, will be fulfilled.


I Give My WORD

Those of you who trusted me…

I give my word.

Your trust will not be ignored.

And I will do everything in my power, to bring peace and harmony to all that’s occurred in the past.


My Sincere Apologies

I give my deepest apologies, for any hurt, pain or suffering that was caused as a result of what happened with the Ayahuasca Healings Church in America.

As a result of any of my actions in the past… not going slower, and rushing into this… growing too fast, too soon… and not taking action on this sooner… for my honest mistakes… I say I am sorry.

Especially to those who donated, and were left disappointed.

I pray that my highest intention can be felt, which was only to bring healing and love to those who need it…

And I pray that this experience together has been able to be a teacher for you, as much as it has been for me.

I have learned so much, and have grown so much from this all, that would be far too much to ever put into a single blog post…

But the bottom line is:

I learned from this.

And I will pay for any mistakes I’ve made in the past.

Stay tuned as this journey unfolds, and I put money where my mouth is.

There is a beautiful light at the end of this tunnel together.

With infinite love, in every way,
Trinity de Guzman & The Ayahuasca Healings Family

PS –

Final Words

There are very lengthy articles out there (here, here, and here) written by people who refuted the claims of the Ayahuasca Healings Church in America, right from the very beginning.

We went as far as we could, thinking that we were honestly legal, until the DEA wrote to us in March 2016. At which point, we stopped sharing Ayahuasca ceremonies in Elbe, Washington.

I admit. I didn’t listen…

I thought we were legal, but I didn’t have the whole picture.

I went too fast… and people were let down…

For all my mistakes, I am truly sorry…

I truly apologize deeply for anybody who was let down or who feels hurt by any of my actions or on behalf of the Ayahuasca Healings Church.

My intention was – and will always be – to bring healing and love to our people and our planet…

Especially through the immense healing power of Mother Ayahuasca.

I will never give up in this mission…

Despite underestimating how difficult it would be to bring Ayahuasca to the United States.

Now, the highest vision of bringing Global Healing and Awakening to our Planet, is stronger than ever! With so many priceless lessons, clarity, and deep maturity that I’ve been given from this all…

We continue to share Mother Ayahuasca’s infinite gifts at our Peru location, “El Camino Sagrado”.

Stay tuned! And thank you for learning, growing, and evolving with me! As we continue this path of awakening and self-awareness…

I’ll speak to you again soon!

With SO much love <3

[To be continued..]

~Trinity, Infinity & Baby Ava Sanika

My Humble Confession - By Trinity de Guzman </br>Re: Ayahuasca Church in America

PPS –

If you would like to comment, this is an open space to share as long as we can communicate in a peaceful and respectful way. Thank you! <3

 

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